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Children Leaving Home
By Ayngel Overson
From time to time I will look into my children’s eyes and suddenly see them not just as the adolescent standing before me, but as the infant they once were, and the adult that is yet to come. It happens in a flash, a composite of all they have been or ever will be. I want to hold on to that vision, but it always slips away so fast. All I can do is put my arms around them and hold them close for a moment. It happened again as I watched my oldest go through the gate at the airport last week, on her way back to Germany for the school year. Her two months home with me come and gone so fast. Their childhoods have all gone by so fast, no one stage lasting nearly long enough. I miss the way they used to fit perfectly in my arms, so tiny and fragile. I miss the way it felt to have one of them balanced on my hip, close to my body. I miss the way it felt to feel their growing bodies squirm inside of me, I marveled that I was able to create something so wonderful, that my body had the power to give life to another human being. I still remember the way it felt to nurse them, this perfect peace would fill my body as I looked into their tiny faces, hand clutched at my breast, eyes closed. Their peace blended with my peace, and for a few moments the world became perfect. Their first day of school was so hard, as they walked confidently towards their future, without the slightest bit of hesitation. Another step towards adulthood, an adulthood that I secretly believed would never come. My oldest will be sixteen so very soon, and again she walks away leaving me standing behind. What if she forgets something? What if something goes wrong? What if she needs her Mommy and I’m not there? The hardest part of parenting by far, is letting go. None of us are really prepared to watch them leave home, we try, but it still leaves an empty feeling inside. Pushing them out the door and pulling them back in at the same time. How difficult it is to watch them walk away from you with a confidence that you have given them, silently hoping they will turn around at the last minute and change their minds, at the same time hoping they will keep going and do whatever it is they are supposed to do with their lives. That they will live a wonderful life. My greatest hope, the hope of any mother really, is that I’ve done everything I can to prepare them for the world they are about to face. To give them roots, then give them wings. I want to hold on, but the job of every parent is the same. We aren’t made to hold on, we are made to let go... |
Surviving Teenagers
| Between Parent and Child
| Peace Centered Parenting
| Parents Empowering Children
| Talking to Kids about sex
PLEASE VISIT THE CONTRIBUTOR'S WEBSITE
Sugar Patch
The unexamined life is not worth living
www.sugarpatch.com
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I never had kids, but I always thought that the letting go part would be rather tough for me. You've expressed this beautifully.
This article is so beautiful and moving. You express so well the bittersweet joy and poignancy of parenthood...
Thank you for sharing this touching story, Ayngel.
Being a father, grandfather, and great grand father, I appreciate many of the tugs on our heart strings. Hopefully, we have prepared the little devils for the rest of their journey.
All we can do is try.
Best wishes.
Frederick
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